A peak on what I'm doing.

Just wanted to show you the spread sheet I made on what I'm doing. Press the image to enlarge.

My new diet (Day 3)

Ok I've given up on the ABC, why because I find once I've eaten something I then binge. So I've going to do my own thing. It works like this, I eat one day, no more the 700 cals, then the next day fast and then again eat the next day and fast the day after and so on.

I've never done it like this before and thinking of eating 700 cals in one day is scary, but binging you can go over 700 cals anyway and purging only fuck up your teeth and stomach and I always feel worse after a purge.

So as this a new way of doing it for me, I'll keep you updated on how I go and what weight I lose if bloody any?

If you guys think of anything to add please let me know, also I'm not saying what I'm doing is cool or safe.

So for now I'm off! x

Is it just me?

So I'm doing the ABC again, but am I the only one who never sees that 50 day mark? I mean being thin is all I won't, so why do I always seem to fuck it up?

Other then that, I've been spending most of my time on Facebook and Training my Great Dane which is no fun when all she wants to do is play. My life so shit, every time I post on this damn blog I never have anything to say, or maybe I'm holding back? Why I'm not sure, if you taking the time to read this crapping post you must want to know more?

I must start leaving this house, doing something more them hiding away from the world so they won't see how fat and ugly I am. But I feel safe and in control in this flat of my and spinning out my words on here is more easy then doing it face to face with so human that only lets you down.

So maybe I use just pack a bag, take my laptop and go somewhere? But then where would I go? It's not like I have a ton of people with their opens to welcome me.

So I'll just have to carry on throwing my words out and hope that someone see them.

I'm not going to post Kcals and Pounds because every time I do the next day I fuck up. So off I'll go and maybe, just maybe someone will see this crap and leave a comment. x

It's been some time!

First I want to say sorry for not keeping this place update, to tell the truth I just found it hard to face my words everyday reminding me what a fail I am. So I stayed away from posting. But the months have been so hard, I've never felt so alone like I do now.
I've never missed Ana has much as I do now and I know how much I need her back.

So it time to hunt her down and this time keep her, why because she is the only friend I have it the world, the only time I feel safe and loved is when she in my life. I'm sick of feeling so lonely, so unloved.

So this time I'm not going to let her go, I'm not going to tell her to leave me alone.

I have also missed you guys and I hope you come by and say hello and let me know how you been keeping.

So for now I'm off for a cry and I'll try and post tomorrow.

x

For Anonymous off Pro Ana: My Struggles with and Acceptance of Ana

Hi all,

Well I know I’ve not been around! Been really down and just did not really wanted to talk to anyone, also me Wii Fit as broken and I am waiting for a new one to come, which may not be until after the 18th of this month.

So why am I posting today? Well that’s because after an email I got off my friend Jo about this poor soul who as a sad life, that they do nothing but spend time posting rubbish on her blog and saying nasty things. So I wanted to post a little message to this lost soul.

So here we go

Dear Jo's Anonymous,
This is a message just for you as I feel you so need to be loved to the point you need to post rubbish because you feel that no one cares for you?

I’m going to post one of the comments you made back to you and then tell you my reason why!

Anonymous said...

Oh, and you fail...you spelled "anonymous" incorrectly.
You can't silence me.
February 10, 2010 6:37 PM

So anonymous, you are telling me that you are fat or you have been, but you are still not at the weight you want to be and no matter how many times you have tried you have fail many times in your life to get to what you want to be.
You feel so bad about yourself that you want other to fail so you don’t feel so bad about you, also you have seen the images of Jo and that how you want to look, I could be wrong? But I don’t think I am.
You don’t have any ED and I feel you have spent hour looking at Pro Ana Sites wanting Ana to come to you! Well it doesn’t work that way!

The reason I say you don’t have any ED is because any one that had any ED knows that no matter the name of what you have the tricks and the mind set is the same no matter what, so we are all sitting in the same ship on the same sea and riding the same tide. You don’t seem to be in that ship my friend. If you were, you would not be spending time being nasty. People with any ED are not in little gangs of this and them, that is why you will see Ana and Mia or on the same page of any blog or website.

So you saying someone don’t have Ana/Mia or any other ED, seem to be a subject you should not be commenting on, when you don’t seem to know that much about it yourself, yes you can read book on it and even a look at a lot of info about it on the net, but that still don’t mean you know anything about it.
If you think also saying nasty stuff will help Jo, there again you know nothing and maybe you should be spending your time looking at sites about metal health then Pro Ana site, so you can find out what is going on with yourself.

“You can't silence me.” This one good! It must be hard try to get them voices out of you head! I feel that every post you make on her blog, is everything you say to yourself! I think my dear you really need to find something else to do, then leaving nasty comments and looking at Pro Ana sites, because it’s making you ill and unhappy my friend.
If you are to carry on with comments, then at less make yourself know to us and stop hiding like some coward like you are.

Ok guys sorry for the big long post! But I don’t like bullies and I will stick up for any one, when something like this is happening to them.

Love to you all xxx