Fading Thin

A peak on what I'm doing.

2010-11-22T20:45:00.002Z

Just wanted to show you the spread sheet I made on what I'm doing. Press the image to enlarge.

My new diet (Day 3)

2010-11-21T17:48:00.003Z

Ok I've given up on the ABC, why because I find once I've eaten something I then binge. So I've going to do my own thing. It works like this, I eat one day, no more the 700 cals, then the next day fast and then again eat the next day and fast the day after and so on.

I've never done it like this before and thinking of eating 700 cals in one day is scary, but binging you can go over 700 cals anyway and purging only fuck up your teeth and stomach and I always feel worse after a purge.

So as this a new way of doing it for me, I'll keep you updated on how I go and what weight I lose if bloody any?

If you guys think of anything to add please let me know, also I'm not saying what I'm doing is cool or safe.

So for now I'm off! x

Is it just me?

2010-11-16T23:00:00.002Z

So I'm doing the ABC again, but am I the only one who never sees that 50 day mark? I mean being thin is all I won't, so why do I always seem to fuck it up?

Other then that, I've been spending most of my time on Facebook and Training my Great Dane which is no fun when all she wants to do is play. My life so shit, every time I post on this damn blog I never have anything to say, or maybe I'm holding back? Why I'm not sure, if you taking the time to read this crapping post you must want to know more?

I must start leaving this house, doing something more them hiding away from the world so they won't see how fat and ugly I am. But I feel safe and in control in this flat of my and spinning out my words on here is more easy then doing it face to face with so human that only lets you down.

So maybe I use just pack a bag, take my laptop and go somewhere? But then where would I go? It's not like I have a ton of people with their opens to welcome me.

So I'll just have to carry on throwing my words out and hope that someone see them.

I'm not going to post Kcals and Pounds because every time I do the next day I fuck up. So off I'll go and maybe, just maybe someone will see this crap and leave a comment. x

It's been some time!

2010-11-05T05:23:00.002Z

First I want to say sorry for not keeping this place update, to tell the truth I just found it hard to face my words everyday reminding me what a fail I am. So I stayed away from posting. But the months have been so hard, I've never felt so alone like I do now.
I've never missed Ana has much as I do now and I know how much I need her back.

So it time to hunt her down and this time keep her, why because she is the only friend I have it the world, the only time I feel safe and loved is when she in my life. I'm sick of feeling so lonely, so unloved.

So this time I'm not going to let her go, I'm not going to tell her to leave me alone.

I have also missed you guys and I hope you come by and say hello and let me know how you been keeping.

So for now I'm off for a cry and I'll try and post tomorrow.

x

For Anonymous off Pro Ana: My Struggles with and Acceptance of Ana

2010-02-11T16:23:00.002Z

Hi all,

Well I know I’ve not been around! Been really down and just did not really wanted to talk to anyone, also me Wii Fit as broken and I am waiting for a new one to come, which may not be until after the 18th of this month.

So why am I posting today? Well that’s because after an email I got off my friend Jo about this poor soul who as a sad life, that they do nothing but spend time posting rubbish on her blog and saying nasty things. So I wanted to post a little message to this lost soul.

So here we go

Dear Jo's Anonymous,
This is a message just for you as I feel you so need to be loved to the point you need to post rubbish because you feel that no one cares for you?

I’m going to post one of the comments you made back to you and then tell you my reason why!

Anonymous said...

Oh, and you fail...you spelled "anonymous" incorrectly.
You can't silence me.
February 10, 2010 6:37 PM

So anonymous, you are telling me that you are fat or you have been, but you are still not at the weight you want to be and no matter how many times you have tried you have fail many times in your life to get to what you want to be.
You feel so bad about yourself that you want other to fail so you don’t feel so bad about you, also you have seen the images of Jo and that how you want to look, I could be wrong? But I don’t think I am.
You don’t have any ED and I feel you have spent hour looking at Pro Ana Sites wanting Ana to come to you! Well it doesn’t work that way!

The reason I say you don’t have any ED is because any one that had any ED knows that no matter the name of what you have the tricks and the mind set is the same no matter what, so we are all sitting in the same ship on the same sea and riding the same tide. You don’t seem to be in that ship my friend. If you were, you would not be spending time being nasty. People with any ED are not in little gangs of this and them, that is why you will see Ana and Mia or on the same page of any blog or website.

So you saying someone don’t have Ana/Mia or any other ED, seem to be a subject you should not be commenting on, when you don’t seem to know that much about it yourself, yes you can read book on it and even a look at a lot of info about it on the net, but that still don’t mean you know anything about it.
If you think also saying nasty stuff will help Jo, there again you know nothing and maybe you should be spending your time looking at sites about metal health then Pro Ana site, so you can find out what is going on with yourself.

“You can't silence me.” This one good! It must be hard try to get them voices out of you head! I feel that every post you make on her blog, is everything you say to yourself! I think my dear you really need to find something else to do, then leaving nasty comments and looking at Pro Ana sites, because it’s making you ill and unhappy my friend.
If you are to carry on with comments, then at less make yourself know to us and stop hiding like some coward like you are.

Ok guys sorry for the big long post! But I don’t like bullies and I will stick up for any one, when something like this is happening to them.

Love to you all xxx

Wallpaper

2010-02-06T05:03:00.002Z

Hi I don't have much to say, but I just wanted to post this wallpaper I made!

Press on the image and it should open full size, then just right click and save..

Happy Birthday to me!

2010-02-04T16:33:00.002Z

I know it's been some time posting! I can only say sorry, I've been on a big downer and when I get like that I just hide.

Well ABC as been NO ABC, So I've been even more down on myself. So I'm taking today as a fresh start. I don't want to be looking like this at my next birthday, I'm so sick of it and I sometimes wish I was just dead as you cannot eat when you are dead, but the truth is I don't want to be dead, I just want to look good and feel good and live my life again before I put all this shitty fat on.

So this is a little update and I will update later! I've done an hour steps today and I've not eaten yet, I'm not going to hope, I'm going to will be keeping to under 300cals today.

So I hope you guys are doing all well and I'm off to read some blogs

Love to you all... x

Day 3: Yesterday.

2010-01-29T15:35:00.004Z

I know that I'm late in posting and looking around blogs, sorry about that...

Yesterday day went ok, I say ok because all I wanted to do was eat and it took me all my strange to keep away from food, any food! So today could be another hell day?

I did do my hour and 30mins of steps and I've just did 30mins now, I will do another hour later.
Do you know I've not left the house for over a week! Which mean I have no life, so I bet my posts are so boring. I don't like going out looking like the way I do, so I want to lose this shitty fat so I can be outside doing all the thing I use to. I mean a few years back I was never at home and would even be away with my boyfriend, now I just bloody hide.

Anyway on a good note I've lost 3lbs so far! I need to lost another 4lbs to get to my first weighting goal. Bloody hope I can do it within this first week of ABC.

So guys I will chat later, I'm very tired today, maybe I'll be more awake later. x

Day 2: Dead legs

2010-01-28T01:29:00.003Z

Dead legs, yes I feel them falling off almost, I've been doing steps for an hour and a half today! I'm paying for it now...

I had 450cals so a little pissed as I wanted to keep under 400cals, but tomorrow 300cals and I'm going to workout again for another hour or so, trying to burn off the cals that I went over.

I'm so tired just now so this will be a short update, but I will post tomorrow a longer post.

So thanks you to everyone for the support and to the new people who are following me :)

Night and love to you all. xxx

Day 1: ABC

2010-01-26T23:51:00.003Z

So it's almost the end of day one! And I did go over the 500cal by 100cal, but I will make up for that tomorrow by only having 400cals or less.

I've not rang up that group I was telling you about, but I did not go, so I will make the call tomorrow, to tell the truth I feel a lot more happy knowing I won't be going back.

So all as been a good day even if I did go over, I even got my Wii fit base which make the board come off the floor by 4incs with makes doing the steps even harder, but more of a workout, so I did 30mins today of them.

I hope everyone is doing well tonight and to Jo who is doing this with me I hope today you are feeling good.

Well off I go for now and chat to you all later. x

Superchick - Courage lyrics

2010-01-26T17:28:00.000Z

26th my start date!

2010-01-26T03:25:00.004Z

Yes I know after that last post you would think I was doing great! Well sadly I've not even started. Why? Because I'm shit and ugly and I cannot keep the food away from me. Why? Well when you live with someone watching ever bloody move you make it because hell.

My boyfriend off in 2 weeks and to tell the truth I cannot wait! so thank god I have about 3 months without him watching me.

I also been going to this group thing twice a week and I bloody hate it, so that's not help me because I'm always worried about it, I'm due to go tomorrow, but I will be ringing to give them my great news that I'm no longer going. Once that done I will feel more relax I think.

So nothing been done about ABC and I think I may have put weight on? I'm not looking forward to finding out when I weight myself when I wake up.

So you this post is for real! It's 3.38am 26th Jan, I will get a few hours sleep and then ABC starts again.
Even I'm getting sick of saying it's starting and then it don't...

Love to you all... x

Day 0: A new start!

2010-01-24T15:43:00.004Z

I know I keep re-starting, but this time I'm also having a fresh start! I've moved my other ABC post to another label, so this will be now the first post in ABC Blog.

Yesterday I was on a downer and I just could not be ass to post anything, how ever I did reply to a few emails and thank you guys for emailing me.

I'm getting pissed off with this re-starting of ABC, so that why I'm going to look at it as not re-starting but as a new fresh start of ABC and my life! I'm not happy and I know I never will be until I'm thin, I'm sick of hiding away and letting life go by because I feel fat and ugly.

I want to be free to feel the sun on my face, free from hiding away from the world and free from the fat that covers my body.
I want to get out of the chains that keep me from living life on how I want to live life.

I know I'm not lone and you all feel the same for many different reasons...

I'm making my stand and I'm making it today!

Hugs to you all x

Day 4: I'm a Fucked up fat cow!

2010-01-23T02:52:00.003Z

A pig has more control then me when it comes to bloody food! I've never eaten so bloody much in a matter of a few hour like I did tonight.

Why the hell did I do this to myself? What the FUCK is wrong with me? I look in the mirror and see how FAT I am and that should be it! But no, fatting me just puts shitting food into her body, why? So she can get bloody fatter.

Tonight after miss fatty here stuff food in her mouth and broke down. said that is I've had it. Never again am I going to fucking do this to myself again.

I have people here that need me just as much as I need them and I'm sick to death letting them down.

So this is it guys, fat cow here is again to re-start the ABC yet again! I don't understand why I keep falling, I've been stronger then this! I've always had control over food, but for some reason the past few year I've been losing it big time.

No this is it, I would be better off dead then looking like this, and no I don't want to be dead.

Well I'm going to go and set my re-starts dates and then try and get some sleep and I just want to say so sorry to you guys for fucking up! You have come here to give me support and then I go and mess up...

Night x

Day 3: Yesterday

2010-01-22T10:04:00.005Z

Sorry I never post last night, I was so so tired I went to bed at 9pm, yes you seen right, 9pm.
The last time I went to bed that early was when I was a kid. I have to say tho the night before I only got an hour sleep.

So yesterday I had 300 cals, I weight myself today and lost a pound. I seem to be really slow in losing weight for some reason?

So I'm on day 4 now, but I will post about that later, it's 400 cals, but I want to stay under 300 today.

So I was out yesterday, did some shopping, did not get much, just a some salad stuff! Other then that, just hanging with a load of feel sorry for me girls.

So I'm off for now and will post later. Thanks for the comments guys, I will reply to them after I post this up. I could not do this without you all. x

Love to you all. Hugs

Day 2: And doing well

2010-01-20T21:41:00.003Z

Today I’ve had 379 cals and feeling full, I had 500g of Swede and it sounds a lot, but once it boiled it’s not as much and then I mash it add salt and pepper! Also you can add stuff with it that makes it even more yummy. So a 100g of Swede is about 14 cals.

Yesterday I had 397 cals, so I’ve been staying under the 500 cals.

Well I did an hour and 10mins of Wii fit and it said I worked off over 300 cals, so that’s good. I’m out again tomorrow so will be out all day, when I’m out food is something that don’t come into my head it’s only when I’m at home.

Ana’s Girl, thank you for that great comment, having people seeing you as a inspiration makes me know that I must keep doing it and to know we are both keeping each going is something that helps me so much.

I know I can do this; it’s all about will power and knowing that the end of the 50 days we both will be thinner :)
And for anyone else who is or want to do ABC, then don’t feel alone, just post a comment so you can have a friend who can support you. As I said many times it’s all about supporting each other.

Well I will go and post sometime tomorrow night. My love to you all...

Again thank you Ana’s Girl... x

Day 1:Yet again

2010-01-19T18:55:00.002Z

Well I know I did not update yesterday! I just wanted to take a day off! Ha Ha, a day off, a bit of a joke when you have an ED.

So I never started ABC yestherday, because I started today and this bloody time I’m going to do the 50 days without any mess ups, well I hope so.

Today I went shopping and got lots of low cal food, also not eating bread any more, I got Cracker Bread, which is only 19cals a slice and I do like that, but it’s very dry.
I also got a new note book for all my note and rubbish like that, so I hope to fill it with 50 days of stuff I may post up after.

I got some flavour tea, which is 17cals a cup, but I must have one coffee in the morning or I’m crappy all day, I cannot drink coffee without milk, so that’s why I moving over to this tea and that big for me as I hate tea.

I’m posting this up early tonight as I’m very tired, so I wanted to get it up, before I get to the point I cannot be ass. LOL

I’ve done a lot of walking today so no Wii Fit, but I will be on it tomorrow for sure.

So guys, this is day one! Again I want to thank you guys for all your support and I hope you will still be around as I will be around for you guys. x

Day 12: The End!

2010-01-18T02:55:00.005Z

I'm weak, so weak I should be dead!
Put me in a box far away under the ground and leave me to be eaten by the worms and any other bugs that should live more then myself.

I went out tonight, told myself diet coke only! But no, I could not do that because I'm weak and I must love being fat and ugly! So the coke went out the window and then food came into play yet again! So me the fat pig, keep stuffing her face and did not stop until see ran to the bathroom and watch it all go down the toilet.

My boyfriend went mad when I ran home screaming at him about how he keeping me fat so no one else would want me. I known this was not true, but when you are hurt and mad, you always take it out on someone else.

So now ABC as ended on day 12 for me...
But no, this is not going to be the end of this blog, because tomorrow I will be re-starting ABC right from the start.

I have to because I am a fucking fat cow! I don't know why I lost control, but I did and now I will have to pay the price. The price is feeling like shit because I'm still fat and ugly.

My friend Ana as ran away from me because she hates me so much....

Day 11 (Yesterday): Fasting

2010-01-17T17:27:00.003Z

Yes I know I'm a day late in posting, sorry about that, time was not my own.

Well fasting went well! But I did weight myself today and I was shocked to only see I've lost one pound! What the hell is going on with my body? So yes I'm a little down about that.

I did do an hour and a half on Wii Fit! So here a break down on what I do for Girl :)

I use Wii fit and I just pick what ever I want to do off that...

If I work out for 1 hour and 30 mins
Step Aerobics, (which is about an hour in 30mins blocks, Start slow for 5mins, then medium for 5mins and fast for 20mins.)
Muscle work out(half an hour on the)

If I work out for 1 hour
Step Aerobics, (which is about 30mins, Start slow for 5mins, then medium for 5mins and fast for 20mins)
Muscle work out(about 30mins)

If I work out for 30mins
Step Aerobics, (which is about 20mins, Start slow for 2mins, then medium for 3mins and fast for 15mins)
Muscle work out(about 10mins)

So that what I do! I do suffer with my back after I had to have an op on in, so I do try and be careful.
I hope that helps, I'm also fasting today, so let's hope I lose a bit more weight. Now off to look at all your blogs and see what I've missed. Will update later about today.

Hugs x

Day 10: And going to fucking Jump off a bridge...

2010-01-16T02:02:00.003Z

Yes I did say FUCKING! SHOT ME I don't care! I had to go out tonight, forgetting it was tonight I was out! And what was worse everyone wanted to go out for a meal and a bloody curry as well.

So I have to bloody eat and go yummy it's really nice! So now I've had god knows how many cals and feeling like shit..
I wish I was bloody dead, then no one will watch to make sure you eat because your dead, so no one would give a shit anyway.

So I FUCK UP! But I'm not going to re-start! I'm going to fasted for the next two days and work out for two hours each day. then I can get back on track I hope!!!

I'm sorry my friends, I let you all down :(

So day 11 as started and no cals...

I don't think I can say anything else then maybe I'll have a shit in the morning...

x

Day 9: Been busy!

2010-01-15T03:01:00.004Z

Well today or should I say yesterday as it's 3.05am was a busy day, was out most of the afternoon, so was home at 4.30pm. It's a little cold and the snow is still around, but more ice then anything else.

So I had 305cals, did one hour Wii fit and jog on the spot for 40mins. I've been tired all day so I'm shocked I did that much to tell the truth.

I'm sorry I've not been around to read any blogs, just about had time to press the follow link on one so I could go back later. So I will rush around fast and have a look at a few before heading to bed, and well try and comment on them tomorrow.

So how's ABC? Well other then wondering what weight I will lost this week, which I hope is some! I'm tired and not pooping, So I must get something soon.

I know there is another ABC blog out there that is only a few days be hide me and she seems to be having a great time doing ABC, but I would not say it's fun! The body is starting to feel it and working out is becoming harder because the body trying to find the energy to burn.

But anyway other then the above, it's not to bad, but you won't be full! You may just after you have eaten, but later the body will be wanting you to go and stuff your face.

Well I better go and get some sleep, it's fasting time so that will be fun! Water oh water how I will love you tomorrow. The worse thing is I don't like water that much.

If the spelling is bad tonight, then so sorry, I can just about keep my eyes open.

Love to you all... x

Day 8: Went over in cals :(

2010-01-14T00:42:00.003Z

Ok I'm very pissed off with myself, I went over the 400cals by a 100, so today I had 500cals. I'm not going to re-start ABC, I will take off a 100cals for day 9, which is 500cals.

I hate food! But in some crazy way love it too, it's a bloody drug and it's one we all have to intake. I'm feeling sick, so maybe I'll be lucky and say hello to the toilet soon.

So day 9 as started even tho I'll be sleeping, I always class the new day after midnight, I did Wii fit today for 30mins and I was only planning to do a hour every other day. But I think with the crap I've been eating today, I will do an hour tomorrow and 30mins the day after for the next week.

I would like to say sorry to the readers of the blog about my posted about closing it down. I could not sleep and started getting a little down, so I starting feeling that I was no good and what the hell is the point. So sorry about that!

I'll state now I do suffer from Bipolar, so my mood can go up and down a lot, no I'm not crazy or mad! I just have an illness to make my brain swing from being on a height to being really low.

Again I want to thank the readers that come here even if you don't leave a comment, thank you for taking the time to come here. I also want to thank the people that have left comments, thank you so much for your support.

Hugs to you all, off out tomorrow so I'll won't be worried about food until I get home.

Hugs xxx

Snack time 115 cals

2010-01-13T17:26:00.001Z

If you enjoy something with a bit of a kick, you may like this.

1 slice of bread (My slice of bread is a 100 Kcals, your slice may be less)
1/2 raw clove Garlic
1/2 raw Tomato
Salt for taste

Toast the bread,
Rub the the garlic into the bread (Just rub as much as you may like into the bread),
Slice the tomato and put the slices on the toast,
Add a little Salt on the tomato for taste.

Should I close this blog down?

2010-01-13T03:41:00.002Z

Why you may be wondering would I think about closing this blog down? Well that's if anyone is really coming by to read it?

Is it helping anyone, I don't know? I thank you few people that do come by and post a comment or two, it really helps me to keep this going and also to anyone who follows my blog thank you, but I would love to hear from you!.

I just feel like I'm posting to myself most of the time and people come by, then I never hear from them again.

Is my blog off putting, or is it just making you bored when reading it. I think I'm losing faith, when I keep saying how we need to support each other, I feel a lot of people have just given up with Fading Thin and if this so, then is there any point to this blog?.

Well I will send this post like many before into the world wide web and see how long before it get lost, who knows maybe it will be like a message in a bottle and I may get a reply?

Day 7: 5bls lost and 100,000,000 to go!

2010-01-13T00:48:00.001Z

Well today I had 214cals and feeling a lot better then yesterday! But now I have gone the other way with no toilet if you know what I mean? So I may have to be off to get me something to make me go!, You see I’m not just going to post clean stuff with this blog, I’m doing ABC and we have to be real with all the other crap that comes along with it.

I’ve done an hour Wii fit plus and I’m not tired, I have a feeling that in a few days Mr tried going to come and bite me in the ass, so I’m making the most of being all hyper!

So tomorrow I have to do some cleaning and sorting stuff out, wonder what I may come across. I hope nothing upsetting as I’ve been feeling good today.

Well it’s 400cals tomorrow, oh yum yum...

Love to you all and let us be strong together.. x

Weight-in Day 7

2010-01-12T15:01:00.001Z

Ok this is a short post, I will update later on my main day, but I wanted to give you my weight in.

So I've lost 5bls, I'm happy but I just wish I got one more 1bls as I wanted to hit 6bls lost.

So after Seven days of ABC we have a 5bls lost....

Just love the words to this song...

2010-01-12T14:47:00.002Z

Day 6: And feeling crappy!

2010-01-12T01:23:00.002Z

Today I’ve not eaten as I’ve been feeling like crap; I could not keep out of the toilet with the runs and also feeling like I was going to be sick all the time. I don’t know if it has anything to do with being on the ABC or if it’s just me or the new Multivitamins I’m taking?

I’ve also not workout which is pissing me off more as I have the weight in tomorrow, so I don’t think I’m going to be hitting 6bls which I wanted to lose for this week. But if losing 1bls as everything to go on, then I will be lucky if I’ve lost two.

So tomorrow is day seven and 300 cals, if I’m like today then I won’t need to worry about keeping under them as I will not be eating anything. But I will keep you update and also post how many pounds were lost if any?

So that’s my update short and crappy as I’ve done nothing because of feeling so shitty.

Hugs to you all x

Day 5: 100cals

2010-01-10T22:18:00.002Z

Well today as not been too bad, I’ve have stay within the 100 cal which I was worried about in case I binged, but I did not and cross fingers and toes I don’t. I’m also not so tired which could be down to going to bed early last night or the fact I’m still high from my hour long Wii fit Plus exercise doing step aerobics?

Also I’m trying some new Multivitamins, I don’t like tabs so I find I don’t take them, but now they have new ones that you can chew, so I got a box today and try one, it’s just like a sweet so I will for sure be taking one of them a day. The ones I have are by Bassetts and called Soft & Chewy Multivitamins with blueberry and lycopene. They are not cheap, £3.31 for 30, but they are nice and you should be taking vitamins if you are doing ABC anyway.

I also weight my puppy today on the Wii fit today he was weighted last month, he put on 12 pounds, I was shocked! He is getting big but he won’t stop growing until he is about 2 years old and he has only just turn 5 months.

Well this is my update for tonight off to watch a DVD then bed! I’m still pissed about that one pound, but not much I can do about it now, just hope I can lose a few more before my weight in on Tuesday.

Love to you all and keep your head up high!

Oh the reason I don’t talk about what I eat is because the last thing you want to read is about food if you are trying to stay even lower then what I am. But I will be posting up some more recipes in a few days so feel free to use them. :D

Eleanor McEvoy: Sophie, song and lyrics

2010-01-10T02:46:00.003Z

Day 4: 339cals and pissed off

2010-01-10T00:47:00.007Z

It's been a hard today! I woke up hunger and I never do, I had my coffee and did all my on-line stuff. again other then wanting to eat, is being tired, so I'm ok with that.

I did feel like I was going to mess up tonight, that's why I made my last post. So I jumped onto the Wii fit for an hour, my boyfriend was screaming out how crazy I was for working out at 11pm at night.

I know some people are having a hard time and may come here thinking that I'm finding it easy, I'm not really I'm not, I too want to stuff my face and finding the control not to is hard. I to could fall at any point so please don't feel like not posting on any of the post, because we are all meant to be here to support each other.

Well it's going to be 100 cals today! So I think it's going to be low cal cup of soups for me. I just hope I don't go as mad thinking about food like I did tonight.

I know some my be thinking what a lot of mistakes in my post and missing words I can only say sorry about that, it's like early hours in the morning when I'm writing so I am tired.

Now the pissed off part! I did weight myself today and I could have cried, it's my fourth day and I've only lost 1bls, yes you seen right. How the hell could I have only lost a pound? I've been keeping to the plan. So seeing everyone else losing a pound a day or every two day and then fat me only lost a pound over four days is killing me to tell the truth. I was hoping to have a lost of 6bls for my first week, don't look like it now.

Anyway off I go for now and my love to you all! x

Finding it hard!

2010-01-09T22:18:00.001Z

The night is not over and I'm finding it hard to keep away from the sweet things that are in the kitchen, I've kept away from them so far! I just need to keep telling myself. I won't be skinning eating shit!

I must stay strong, I must not give in!

Will update later tonight I how I did, I just hope I don't fall! :(

Day 3: 243cals

2010-01-09T00:59:00.007Z

Yes I know my post are not the greatest out there, but I just cannot seem to think of anything great to say, but maybe one day soon I will?

So anyhow as you seen I've kept under the 300cals and I also been playing the Wii Sports blowing for about two hours, so my arm is going to pay for that when I wake up.

I've not left the house today, just hang about netting, reading Pro-Ana stuff and music. I have been tired but that's about it really no other side affects that I can think of just yet.

I want to say thank you to the girls that are talking the time to leave comments, It's really is helping me and making me want to do the 50 days even more so, so please keep the comments coming as it helps to know people are rooting for you.

I bet you are all wondering how much weight as she lost? I cannot say because I don't want to weight myself until weight in day which is four days away. But I'm hoping I've lost and hoping for at less 6bls so keep your fingers cross for me people.

Well it's 1.10am here so the fourth day as now started and I hope I keep staying on track. After three days I find that the body is when it really wants to play up and this is where I will really need to be strong.

Well guys off I go for now and update you tomorrow.

Hugs x

PS: Scroll down to the bottom of the page and look under the ABC chart, you will see a new image post there. It's so nasty...

Day 2: 450cals today

2010-01-07T23:39:00.009Z

I've not done to bad today, I have stayed under 500cals, But I would have like to have stayed under the 400, but I am still happy.

Tomorrow is 300cals so I hope I don't fall off the track and I keep under it, so I will need your guys support even more. I will be looking at a lot of sites and blogs tomorrow to keep my brain focus.

The only down side of today is my boyfriend having a ago at me about doing the ABC again, I can understand why he would be upset when he don't understand, but I wish he would just keep off my back as he should knows by now it won't do any good.

Well I better go and try and get some sleep, so my love to you all and like myself, try and stay strong...

Thinspiration

2010-01-07T02:53:00.002Z

Day 1: Less then 350cals

2010-01-06T23:35:00.009Z

It's almost midnight and day 2 of ABC will then starts! I've keep to 350cals today and I'm in more of a better mood then last night after messaging up. I did weight myself so I could restart my starting weight and I lost 3bls I was jumping up and down a little, but also pissed as it would have been more if I did not mess up over the past 5 days.

So I'm hoping to stay below 400cals tomorrow, I'm out most of the afternoon and I don't eat in the morning so I should be ok in the day and won't eat. Night times are the hell for me, that's when I get really hunger and really need to fight not to eat.

I know I should eat in the day, but once I do, all I want to so is eat all day then so that's the reason why I don't eat in the day.

Well it's really cold here and snow is everywhere which the top layer is icing up as it is so cold. But I do love the snow, just wish it was more fluffy then icing. Well that is my little update for tonight and will update you will good news tomorrow night I hope. x

I HATE ME

2010-01-06T04:20:00.002Z

Yes I FUCKED up yet again! Friends came around again with drink and food! And I lost control after a few drinks and started pigging out along side with them...

I'm so bloody mad with myself, I cannot do anything right...
So yes I have to start yet again and I was starting to think I was getting on track! I just want to roll up in a ball and hide.

I'm not going to give in! I will do this, I will....

Doing well today!

2010-01-05T02:05:00.002Z

I'm am happy to say I kept under 500 cals Yer no pigging out! It's 2.10am so I know I won't touch any food now as I never eat this late.

I was also out in the heavy snow with my dog for an hour and walking in that is a trek itself, so I did not go onto the Wii Fit today.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow tho, I have to go shopping and it's hell walking pass all the foods you use to love and not want to buy, but I want to get some cabbage so I can make up some soup.

So as for today, It's been good and I cross fingers it will be even better. x

What the hell is wrong with me?

2010-01-04T02:02:00.003Z

That's it I'm almost ready to jump off a bridge and have done with it all! I did so well all day and most of the night, but then come 11pm and I just could not keep away from the bloody food! I don't know why food is ruling me so much, I could go days without food and now it's the biggest sin out throw myself into.

I hate myself so much! I keep telling myself how fat and ugly I am, but still it don't stop me from putting that food in my mouth. I just want to hide away and never be seen by anyone, I'm out of control and I'm falling into a deep hole which I cannot seem to get out off!

I hate food, I hate the way I look and still I cannot stop myself...

Off I go to cry...

Tired

2010-01-03T15:07:00.001Z

Well I've not eaten yet, which I know I should, but I find if I have breakfast then I cannot stop eating all day, so I just wait until night time for long as I can. I've done done 25 mins of the Cardo on the Wii fit! Now I'm so tired! I use to do it for 3 hours a day a year or so back and was never this tired after. So I may lay down for a nap, of do some web designing?

So this time I'm hoping not to mess up like I did last night, I WILL NOT MESS UP!

So anyway, I just wanted to give to all a little update...

I'm so Mad with Myself

2010-01-03T03:04:00.001Z

I really messed up tonight! I had a few friends come over and they had food and drink with them! Then what do I go and do, join in like there was no tomorrow.

So now I will have to start again! I'm so pissed off with myself, Just feel like cutting the hell out of myself, but that something I'm trying to stop!

So for you all, sorry but the 3rd is now my new start date! Off I go to stick my head down the toilet...

It's 2010!

2010-01-02T15:59:00.004Z

Last year was not good, I could not stick to anything, I just wanted to give up on anything and everything no matter how hard I wanted to keep going strong.

Well this year I don't want to be the same as last year, so people I need your help to kick me up my fat ass and keep going, so I'm asking you all to keep coming and bugging me here so I don't go falling off to the lazy road.

I'm happy the season for giving is now over, no more food being put in front of your face and everyone watching to see if you will eat it! Now I can be left alone from the, "You need to eat more and you should try this all the bloody time."

So how was everyone season? I hope you all got what you wanted and more. Again I want to say sorry for not updating as much as I should! Maybe I felt like no one cared anyway? Who knows? But I'm back and the start of the 50 days BootCamp starts today.

Want to join me? Then feel free to do so xxx

PS, I've not been around many sites so if the BootCamp as change please let me know.

Starting over!

2009-09-02T13:02:00.003+01:00

I know it's been some time in posting and I'm so sorry! I've been a lot of pain over the past few months with my back! Meaning I could not sit for to long in front of a PC or move around to much. I'm still in pain but I'm going to have to put up with it, I cannot put up with the fact I've put weight on with that no moving around :(

So today pain or no pain I'm going to start again with bootcamp! And I'm begging for your support as I'm no it's going to be hard this time around with having to keep going with this bloody back of mine.

I also have a few comments I have to reply back to and I will :) I've missed you guys and reading you blogs, so I'm going to try tomorrow to read all your blogs and see how you are all doing.

Well off I go for now and I hope you guys are doing well? Please leave a comment and tell me what you all been upto?

xxx

Poll Ended and here was the out come!

How many Calories do you intake in one day?

Between 100 to 300 7 (13%)
Between 300 to 500 9 (17%)
Between 500 to 800 10 (19%)
Between 800 to 1000 13 (25%)
Between 1000 to 1500 8 (15%)
Between 1500 to 2000 4 (7%)

6Ibs Lost!

2009-07-11T14:03:00.002+01:00

Let me start my saying sorry for not posting for the past few days, my time as not been my own and to tell the truth I've been a little down. The weight is not coming off like I would have hoped and I can only hope that next week will be a lot better. But today I did weight myself and I’ve lost 6Ibs so I should be happy, but I’m greedy and wanted more. It's also not been helped with being lazy and not getting off my fat ass when it came to exercising.

Anyway I hope you all enjoy the new layout of the blog! I messed around with the style sheet part of it yesterday! I do make web layouts and wallpaper for fun in my spear time, so messing around with the blog was not that hard. If you don’t like it and would like the black back then just say.

One of the other reason I’m down is I’ve not long joined this group thing which I go to once a week as well having a one to one a week. I hate it and it’s starting to get to me and I don’t want to go, I do try when I’m there, but every time I have to go my head down the toilet and when I get back, this thing seems to be making me feel worse not better and if I tell them I cannot carry on going, I’ll be cut off from any help. God you don’t care about this shit, why am I telling you?

I’ve not really logged into Facebook the past few days, so I’ll be doing that later, but this was just a little update on how things are going and on how I feel, which is as you seen above.

I do want to say thanks to the people who are following my blog, it helps when you know people are reading and supporting you, also thanks for the real nice comments, I really need just now and I will be around later to leave one back.

So for now guys I’ll update later xxx

Video Time

2009-07-09T22:00:00.002+01:00

Was feeling low today!

2009-07-08T23:43:00.003+01:00

Today was an up and down mood with me, I did stick to my 100 cals but for some reason I felt I had eaten way too much and started to get down about it! I have to say thanks to a few members on Facebook that had a chat and supported me, thanks you know who you are.

Well I’m out most of the day tomorrow and in one way I’m looking forward to it and in another I’m not! Why you may be asking? Well it’s that a friend of mine wants us to go out after my meetings and that means bloody food! She one for meat pies, chips, burgers that sort of things, then we have the vodka on top, so now I’m trying to think up a reason to not be able to go after.

How is ABC going! Some moods swings and headaches at the moment, not lost any weight over the two days, so that’s piss me off a little, even more so has I have not binged. I’m getting tired a lot but that’s nothing new when it comes to any low cal diet and headaches and mood swings are also normal! Being that I’m in taking food each day I was hoping it would be less tho.

Any way I know I said I’ll post my weight lost in a month, but I’ve changed my mind and will post it up on the eight day, so that means I’ve done a week and I’ll do that every week. I do need to lose a lot of weight, so if this work, I’m going to start over again after a few days rest. So if you are like myself and need to lose a lot and think this is something you would like join me in let me know.
So that’s my post for today, back to my Diet Coke! Oh sorry never got round to putting any pics up!

X

Bug me please!

2009-07-07T18:22:00.001+01:00

Ok it's been a night and a hell of a day! Last night I went off to my bed and was all over the place, I had to get up and then find a 1000 thing to do to keep me away from the food that kept calling out to me, but I did it yep I stayed strong.

Well after getting about an hour sleep off I went out to do my one to one meeting with the stupit woman I have to see each week, bloody hate, I really do.

So after that I went off to superdrugs to get my hair dye changed and then tesco for me sigs. after that took an hour walking to burn off some nasty fat and back home I went.

Where am I going with this post? Oh who cares! Well today being hard even tho I'm trying to keep my chin up for everyones. So what's wrong? Why am I posting so early? Well I'm bloody hungery and really tired, but if I was to have a nap I'll be up all night yet again.

I feel like I'm going to mess up tonight and I don't want to and I'm going crazy about it before or even if happens. So guys bug the hell out of me please, give me things to do just to keep me away from that bloody carp called food!

Ok bug you all to death now, I'll update you later xxx

Oh yer anyone in Scotland being pull over asking if they want to buy perfume, say NO DON'T go near them! That offer a tissue to smell it and it's drugged and when you almost passed out you'll robbed!

Thinspiration

2009-07-07T18:00:00.001+01:00

Thinspiration

2009-07-07T17:59:00.001+01:00

Thinspiration

2009-07-07T17:58:00.002+01:00

Video Time

2009-07-07T00:08:00.003+01:00

I so love the Sims 2 and this track! So when I found this I just had to post it. Not sure how long it will stay up before it's taken dowm?.

Thunder and Lighting

2009-07-06T21:45:00.000+01:00

Well what a day! I was woken up by thunder and lighting and a tone of rain more could be on its way, fun hey. Other then the weather it’s not been a bad day, I kept under 300 cals and did 20 mins of step aerobics which has killed my legs after not been doing them for a very long time.

So you’ll all say how many pounds, have you lost? Well I started this on the 4th of this month, so I will post up how many pounds I’ve lose, if I have on the 4th of next month. I just would like to but up a big lost then a little dribble here and there.

Well I was pissed of about one thing today, a few days back I got a book of hair dye and I was going to use it today so I open the box and the tube which should have the colour in it was missing, so off I have to go and take it back to get a replacement, better have my colour left.

So what else have I been doing? Well most of my day was spent on FaceBook and playing Pets Society an Facebook app, if you are on FaceBook add me if you like and why not join Pets Society then I can come see your pet and bug you with notes lol

I’m doing well with ABC, but it’s been only a few days, give it a few weeks then see how easy I think it is, but I’m keeping to it! If you are doing it, leave a comment and tell you how you feel and what you think good and bad about it. Also follow my blog if you like, I’ll more likely do the same back.

Well I’m going to go for now and update you tomorrow and I also hope you been liking the pics I been putting up.

x

Thinspiration

2009-07-06T12:17:00.002+01:00

Thinspiration

2009-07-06T12:16:00.002+01:00

HomeMade Onion and Cabbage Soup

2009-07-05T18:37:00.001+01:00

100g is around 45 cals

This as a little of a spicy kick if you like spicy food.

1 small onion or half of a big onion.
100g of Cabbage
1 OXO Vegatable Cube
Salt and Pepper for taste
Time to cook around 30 mins

This has a little of a spicy kick, if you like spicy food? Very easy to make. You can also make this up in the morning or before you go to bed, then just cook when you get home after school or work.

Chop both the onion and cabbage (size: bitesize) and put into a pan.
Add the OXO Vegatable cube and salt and Pepper into the pan with the onion and cabbage.
Pour cold water over it all (make sure the water covers a less an inch over the onion and cabbage).
Bring to the boil and turn down and simmer for about 25 mins.

I hope you like it and it's filling.

Thinspiration

2009-07-05T14:40:00.003+01:00

Thinspiration

2009-07-05T14:39:00.002+01:00

Thinspiration

2009-07-05T14:38:00.003+01:00

Thinspiration

2009-07-05T14:37:00.003+01:00

Thinspiration

2009-07-05T14:36:00.004+01:00

Thinspiration

2009-07-05T14:35:00.003+01:00

Cannot sleep

2009-07-05T02:29:00.000+01:00

Yes it's another night where I just cannot sleep! I'm not feeling hunger but food is going around in my head! So I've got the TV on and lying down in the hope it makes me tired.

I'm off out tomorrow to do food shopping with the boyfriend, I hate doing that with him, he will stick thing in the basket that he knows I like in the hope I'll get it and eat it! But I then have a fit at him and make him put it back, but it get's to me that I have to do thus everytime. I sometimes think he wants me to stay fat!

Well I better close here and try and relax, so night all.

-- Post From My iPhone

Ana Boot Camp - Day 1

2009-07-04T22:21:00.004+01:00

Well I was finding it hard today to make up my 500 cal without going over the 500, but I did do it, being a little under. I was out most of the day, so I only had a little fruit before I got onto the bus and just eaten when I got home.

I'm not sure how I can do this Ana Boot Camp being I see one that is 800cal, that shock the hell out of me to tell the truth, if I eat that much in cals I then over eat and I'm worried about that.

I really could do with some friends who are also doing this and would like to buddy up with me. My boyfriend getting on my back just now about my eating and it's getting me down, I wish he would just give it a rest, it don't help going on at me all the time.

So I'm just going to keep this going and hope it works and I don't going falling, I'll keep updating and hope someone reading this blog?. :(

Ana Boot Camp

2009-07-04T03:52:00.007+01:00

I've just came over from reading Quest for Perfection and she is going to try out the Ana Boot Camp. So I'm going to also give it a try and I hope to get support and also give support back! So I would love to hear back from you all. :)

Here is the calories run down taken from her blog.

Day 1: 500 calories
Day 2: 500 calories
Day 3: 300 calories
Day 4: 400 calories
Day 5: 100 calories
Day 6: 200 calories
Day 7: 300 calories
Day 8: 400 calories
Day 9: 500 calories
Day 10: fast
Day 11: 150 calories
Day 12: 200 calories
Day 13: 400 calories
Day 14: 350 calories
Day 15: 250 calories
Day 16: 200 calories
Day 17: fast
Day 18: 200 calories
Day 19: 100 calories
Day 20: fast
Day 21: 300 calories
Day 22: 250 calories
Day 23: 200 calories
Day 24: 150 calories
Day 25: 100 calories
Day 26: 50 calories
Day 27: 100 calories
Day 28: 200 calories
Day 29: 200 calories
Day 30: 300 calories
Day 31: 800 calories
Day 32: fast
Day 33: 250 calories
Day 34: 350 calories
Day 35: 450 calories
Day 36: fast
Day 37: 500 calories
Day 38: 450 calories
Day 39: 400 calories
Day 40: 350 calories
Day 41: 300 calories
Day 42: 250 calories
Day 43: 200 calories
Day 44: 200 calories
Day 45: 250 calories
Day 46: 200 calories
Day 47: 300 calories
Day 48: 200 calories
Day 49: 150 calories
Day 50: fast

Bad Day!

2009-07-03T13:40:00.000+01:00

I really had a bad day yesterday, I was out all day and I had to meet me mum in a cafe which ment I had to have eat something! I only wanted to get a milkshake as I have not any milk what so ever over the past few days.

After my 2 and 1/2 meeting I went for a drink with a friend to the pub being it was so bloody hot, she wanted something to eat and it was a meal! she even got a meal for me even tho I did not want anything and I had to try and eat it, she watch to make sure and I could not find a way out of it had she been with me all day and new I not eaten any lunch!

I'm so mad with myself and really trying to keep anyway from any thats not a Grapes or raw Green Beans and lots of water.

I'll have to think of some reason not to go out next week as she wants to do it again.

First Post

2009-07-02T23:27:00.000+01:00

I set this little blog up so it's somewhere I can post my feeling and maybe in some why I won't feel so alone. I also would like to meet new people who may also feel how I do and maybe also need a friend.

I've been away from the net for some time and put alot of weight on which had become very upsetting, but even tho I want to lose the weight I also want to stay as safe, even when I know that it's hard when what I hate the most is what I need to live.

I'm not going to post a long blog, I just wanted to let you all know that this is a new blog and I will try to updated as much as I can? But I have many meetings with many people so time can sometimes not be on my own.

If you come across this site and would like to support me with my weight loss yet again, please feel free to follow me and leave a comment, if you have a blog or site of your own leave the link, I don't mind poping by.

Some people will not like my views or the way I do things, well then please move on, don't waste your time leaving nasty messages.

Thinspiration

2009-07-02T18:00:00.002+01:00

Contact Me

2009-07-01T18:00:00.013+01:00

If you would like to to contact me then here is where to get me! :)

When emailing or adding me, please put FROM FADING THIN this is so I know it's not spam.
If you don't I may not reply?

Email: fadingthin@yahoo.co.uk
Yahoo Messenger: fadingthin
Fading Thin Facebook
Fading Thin Twitter

Safe Tips

2009-07-01T18:00:00.011+01:00

Get Help!
See someone and get some help, ED’S is a Mental Health problem and you need you get HELP!

Drink Milk!
All around pro ana sites you always find them say that whatever you do, DON’T DRINK MILK!
Well I do and I still lose weight, the reason why I carry on drinking milk is for the fat, Yes I said FAT! You need an intake of fat even more so when exercising, if you don’t take a less a glass of Semi Skimmed Milk a day then the body with start to eat away at the muscles, your bones will weaken and will be easy to brake.

You want to be thin well ok, but thin for a few years without any intake of fat is the death as the biggest muscle in you body will give up and die, meaning you die, yes I’m taking about your heart.

Drink Semi Skimmed Milk once a day its 80 cal and I’m sure you can get you head around that.

Eat Everyday!
Yes intake food a less once a day a small meal or some toast, anything, but eat food, just keep to safe foods but eat, if you must fasted then do it once a week and still have you glass of Milk. If you are so worried about your intake of food then at less try and intake over 500 cals a day. But if you can get a 1000 cal in you then do so, as when it comes to exercising this will help your body from not straining and burning at the muscles.

Vitamins!
Take your vitamins every day and remember to drink your Semi Skimmed Milk also.

Thinspiration

2009-07-01T18:00:00.005+01:00

About Site

2009-07-01T00:00:00.007+01:00

WARNING: Please read this content before going onto reading this blog, Some content within this site maybe of offensive nature and views of many other users may differ. If after reading this and you stay, then you done so at your own choose and Don’t post any screaming fit’s at me as you have been warned.

EATING DISORDERS: Is NO joke and is NOT a good way in losing weight, if you want to lost weight, then do it as safely as you can, doing it right will make you not only healthy but also keep your weight off. Doing it my way or any other person who have an ED (eating disorders) means death if you don’t get help!. People with an eating disorder has a Mental Health problem and need HELP!

If you going to ask “how can I make myself have an eating disorders?“ Then don’t ask me, as I am not going to be the one to help kill yourself (No point trying to be thin if your going to be dead, tho I sure the ones carrying your coffin would thank you).

IMAGES
Any images post on this site came from the net, I don't clam any of them as my own! If you feel I stole them, then sorry I only post them up because I like them or there is a meaning behide them and no other reason.